Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Rainy Day in Biloxi

Well yesterday it stormed so bad you couldn't see 1 foot in front of you and of course mother nature waiting util 5 o'clock to start raining. I am Jeepin it and it's a pain in the ass to get the kids in and out of it when the top is on. Luckily it let up a little bit so it wasn't so bad. This morning I woke up once again to black clouds. Please lord let it rain all day so it is through with at quitting time.

Here lately I have been in a really Blah mood. Hubby says I am in a bad mood but I don't exactly call it that. I like to say distant. Is it me, or does everyone get like that every now and then?

I sat down last night and finished V's CJ and let me tell ya...I am so pissed off. It looks like Hobby Lobby threw up on the sign in page. I can't believe I actually scrapped something that looks like this. I am so disappointed. I am to embarrassed to even post them so I will spare you. Elizabeth, bless her heart, said oh they're not that bad...she's lying I assure you...It's BAAAADDDDDDD!! Melana would have done better than this. I am a firm believer in not redoing a page though. I have contimplated on redoing it but I choose not to. I must have fiddled with that thing for 2 1/2 hours last night only for it it look worse and worse. Oh Well!

See I beat myself up when things aren't just pefect. I have to get out of that. I think my house should be perfectly clean and blah blah blah...if it's not it throws me into a frenzy and then I stress. I know everything in life can't be perfect. Especially with a 2 year old and 3 year old. At times I just have to step back and realize they are only 2 and 3 and I can't expect them to be perfectly clean and neat and tidy. It's just not possible. This is something I have been trying to work on but it is just not working for me. It works for about a week and then I start freaking out. Elizabeth thinks I am neurotic. See I have this thing with pajamas as well. My kids CANNOT and I repeat CANNOT go to bed without there pj's on. That is not acceptable. I will wake them up to put pj's on them if they fall asleep without them on. I know I am silly but that's just me. I have several other quirks I won't get into right now. Well I now feel better that I have ranted.

We now will return back to the regularly scheduled program!!


Blogger Renee said...

I know what you mean, I have to catch myself too and not stress out about the cleanliness/neatness of the house.

(but I let me kids sleep in just about anything) ;)

4/26/2006 8:53 AM  
Blogger elizabeth said...

well, i have given you my opinions on all of this, but i will give them again, b/c right at this moment i can relate to a couple of them.

here lately, while sitting at work, i've been thinking of all the things i am missing on with my kiddos b/c i am too busy when i get home trying to do the following: cook dinner, eat dinner, clean up after dinner, a load or two of laundry, then put the kiddos to bed.

notice something missing? no i didn't forget to type it, its just that i am spending NO time with my kids. NONE AT ALL. shit, even though we eat at the table, as soon as i'm done, i scrape my plate and start cleaning the kitchen while everyone else finishes eating. what's wrong with me? i can't just sit and enjoy their company for five minutes? wtf?

so back to me daydreaming at work, i think that i am missing out on this wonderful time in my kids lives all b/c i'm trying to keep up with laundry or i wanna play on the net or there's a show on tv i feel i can't miss(forgot to mention that).

its really sad. i should go home, cook, and then play a game with them. read a book with them. something. instead, i feel like the only way that i spend time at them is when i am yelling at them.

i have been trying so hard to work on this but now i am so friggin' busy i haven't been very successful.

in ten years when the kids would rather hang out in their rooms and talk on the phone instead of playing a game with me, i am going to cry and i am going to hate myself for not taking the opportunities i did have to spend time with them.

so don't be so hard on yourself. i think we all do it. but only you can change it. oneil can't. i can't, hell, the kids can't. only greta can go home and look at a floor that needs to be swept and say "fuck it. i'd rather run around and play outside with the kids".

hugs and kisses.

i love you.

p.s. your pages are a lot better then you made them sound on the phone. stop being so hard on yourself...i know i'm the pot ;)

4/26/2006 8:57 AM  
Blogger twistedsoda said...

Hi girl!!! Love the new ride...I am so jeolous, I would kill for new car smell but...have to settle for old wet dog, stale coffee and I think there is a McDonald's cheeseburger somewhere in there somewhere...I don't think they rot, just get really hard...hehehehe. Michelle is doing great, she is finding a new love for boobie shirts, The healing process is delightful. And as for me...I am just chuggin along! (hearts)

4/26/2006 9:13 AM  
Anonymous V said...

I have been where you are and find myself there too. This is a busy time of year for you, you are adjusting to it. Don't get down about it. It will all work out. And I'm sure your pages are great! You inspired me on one I did yesterday (check my blog). HUGS girly-o!

4/26/2006 9:59 AM  
Blogger C. said...

Don't you go to bed without your p.j.'s??? : )..j/k I agree with ya though.. Kids have to wear their p.j's... : ) Hope you are having a good day!


4/26/2006 11:45 AM  
Anonymous kristi sauer said...

Everyone is entitled to a fe "blah" periods, now and then. Don't woirry about your pages...just be yourself! If that doesn't work for ya, you could always scraplift!

4/26/2006 2:25 PM  
Blogger LindsayT said...

Ah I feel you with the stress stuff....and I was on a scrap high now I am back to blah again!

4/26/2006 2:30 PM  
Blogger Jessica said...

"It looks like Hobby Lobby threw up on the sign in page."----is it okay for me to laugh at that? I mean I know it's you venting but that is so funny!

Love you banner!

4/26/2006 7:15 PM  
Blogger Chris-el-da said...

what exactly does HL vomit look like?

i'm paying my phone bill today! (thursday!) so you'd better call hooker!

4/26/2006 11:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am sure it isn't as bad as you think it is. Don't sweat it!!!

4/27/2006 6:45 AM  
Blogger SpAzzGiRL said...

I am like you as well especially when it comes to my little projects and always think they are worse than they are. It is probably just Michael's puke and not HL! lol I don't re-do pages either which is a very hard urge to control, so way to go!
Doesn't everyone get in a funk?? (if not I've been lying to my men!)
I hope your case of the blahs is short lived.

4/27/2006 7:34 AM  
Blogger Diana in WV said...

Yes, we all have those days...well, I know I DO, haha.

As far as scrapping...everything I do I never like, ok, not true, there have been maybe 3 or 4 pages I've ever done that I liked the way they turned out. Thank goodness i'm not that much of a perfectionist for my pages or I'd never scrap again, lol. I suck, but I still enjoy doing it.

Later chica!

4/27/2006 11:40 AM  
Blogger Jamie said...

girl i feel you. truly i do. hugs sweetie. :)

4/28/2006 9:13 AM  

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